Shocking

So I was at the gym today and there is this man, he’s 67 years old. He’s very old and also looks very old, he’s not one of those guys that you would mistake them for being 50. He has white hair and wares glasses. He’s pretty tall, I think around 6’1. He wares this green turquoise shirt, it’s a wife beater. He also wares these dark blue short shorts. His skin is very wrinkly but he has so much energy. Even though he is 67 years old he is one of the fittest old people I have ever seen in my life. Sometimes he goes to the gym even twice a day and workouts like crazy. First he runs for a little and then he pedals on the bike without stopping for at least 30 minutes. Then after he runs and bikes he does the seated row for ten minutes without stopping. Sometimes I look at him and I wonder how he does it. Then after he does all that he works on his abdominals and then does strength and endurance training. I think that he’s very lonely because I always see him going and talking to different people. He’s talked to me before and I always over hear him telling the other people what he told me. He told me that he trains everyday because at my age he was a beast and he wants to keep up with his grandson that is also a beast and is very strong. When he told me that he runs twelve kilometres a day I was shocked, and he also told me that he used to do triathlons and marathons. For a 67 year old guy I was shocked that he was so athletic and that he can push himself so far. I think that he’s a great guy but I feel bad for him because I think that he is lonely.

Pritty lady

So there’s this lady that comes by sobeys. Well call her Nicole. She always comes by with her little daughter that I think might be around 6 years old. They always buy meat from me. One time it was really cute, Nicole told her daughter what to buy. Nicole is always very happy and she always smiles when she walks through those doors. She usually buys olives first and always asks for a small container. Then she comes and orders 200 grams of turkey, that’s all she ever gets. She has such a soft voice and it’s so sweet to, she is also very polite. For a thirty year old woman she is very attractive. She dresses well and has a lot of style. She wears nice blue tight jeans with a nice white coat. She has this smile on that just makes her daughter so happy which is so nice to see. Nicole looks like she is Italian, actually im pretty sure she is Italian. Today Nicole came by with her mom, her mom is at least 65 im pretty sure. While Nicole walks up and down the store she lights up the place, she is stunning for a mom. After the deli she usually spends her time walking through the isles and goes to the bakery and asks for bread, im not sure if she was asking for bread but she was asking for something. As Nicole continues walking with her daughter and her mom she always has this sweet smile on that just makes your day a little bit better.

Just chilling, again

So today it was just a regular day, just chilling in the middle of Vaughn mills. I have to say that I have seen a couple of cute girls walking around. I don’t get why none of these cute girls ever insert any money into me, never mind that they don’t even sit on me, they just walk past me like I am a piece of eye candy you know, and I for one am not eye candy, I need to be groomed. Anyways, im sure one of these days the perfect girl will sit on me. I should be advertised around the mall, the ad should say “The Hot Seat”. Im better then all these guys around me, I make the rules. I know im making myself sound like I am better then everybody, but really I am. Okay I am just stressed to be honest no one sits on me, like why does no one sit on me? Im clean and comfortable. For the past couple of days this has been happening, people just sit on me and don’t insert any money, then they just move to the other guy. Now that I think about it, yesterday someone inserted money into me and it just fell right through me back into their hand. Am I not working properly, O My God, I need to be repaired some one please get me fixed, I can not vibrate anymore that’s the problem. No wonder these past couple of days people have just been sitting and getting up, its not their fault its mine, I need to be repaired fast, only if I had a mouth to let the guys no, someone should report this, I don’t get that tingly feeling anymore.

Trying to do what i do

So you know today is just a normal day just chilling, just doing my job looking good in the middle of Vaughn mills. Im quite new here actually, I was shipped here around two months ago. It takes a little getting used to, all these stores around me, all the people around me, but I got to admit that it is kind of annoying because I know once summer comes around its going to be packed in here. Today has been a slow day though, no one is paying for me they are just inserting their bottoms on me and not their money. Honestly I would sit on me to, im nice and sleek, I feel good, and when I vibrate, I do my best to massage people and make them feel good. Who wouldn’t want to sit on me, I mean im so comfortable and soft. I have like 5 friends around me, im stuck with these guys for good, so we try and make the best of it. Im sure my friends are not as comfy as I am. Im the newest one here and I fit in just great, even though I am a little better looking then them. Maybe some of us need to be moved around so we can get more attention, like when 3 of us are being used the other two get the shaft. Anyways im out for today, hopefully tomorrow is a busier day.

Relax....

So I was just working tonight, like I do on a regular Monday night. I work with this guy that can not stop talking, no matter how many times you tell him to stop talking. So I was just minding my own business and all I heard was

- So I really want to quit this job
- Ok... yeah, well do what you want
- Im going for a job interview tomorrow, hopefully I get it.
- Good luck
- Yea I really want to get that job at the bank, because it is just opening and all the banks around here don’t need anyone.
- Yeah
- Yeah man tomorrow im going to wake up early and make a great first impression
- Good luck…

Every 30 minutes he would bring it up that he wants to quit and I kept over hearing it, like honestly if you want to quit just, stop telling us man, its so annoying. Like yeah, say it once maybe two times, but stop repeating your self man you were already told good luck. It was even more annoying for me because I would hear him telling other people and then he would come and tell me. The person he was telling showed no interest after he heard it the fifth time, like I swear this guy that was saying he really wants to quit doesn’t know when someone is not interested in hearing him, he just keeps going. I was so annoyed I was going to throw something at him, like he’s a good guy he just has to relax.

LIKE SERIOUSLY , its annoying

So me and my friends were out on a Saturday night trying to get some dinner. So we went to a restaurant around eleven o’clock. Its eleven o’clock right, not that many people should still be out eating dinner at eleven o’clock. So me and my friends walk into the restaurant and there were two party’s going on which they had at least 25 people each. So we get seated and me and my friends are talking about our day and what we are going to do after. Then from one table we hear

- Umm... What do you think I should get?
- I am not sure honey maybe we will try eating their special pastas
- Umm… I don’t really want to eat pasta today lets try something else.

Simple conversation right, not that annoying. The table furthest from us was ridiculous and so annoying, me and my friends were going to get up and leave. These guys were standing up the whole time and talking really loud.

-EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
-EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
-How about another shot
-EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

From the time me and my friends got there, they were all done eating and just standing up. For an hour straight these guys were saying EYYYYYY, like you’re at a restaurant people are just trying to eat and relax, they don’t want to hear you, me and my friends were so annoyed and didn’t understand why they were all standing up. Why didn’t the restaurant manager tell them to quite down, that’s beyond me.